Halo
by Icanterbareback
Summary: Baby I can see your halo. You know you're my saving grace. -Beyonce


**This story is dedicated to my Chad. I won't tell you his real name, out of some irrational fear that someone will know who I'm talking about. We're only friends right now, but only because that's what people want us to be. I know we both love each other as more than that, but we're afraid to move on. **

**This story kind of revolves around the idea of that one person being everything to you; an angel. And even though it's not there, you can see their halo. **

**My Chad is that person to me. And even though we're not in a relationship, just being around him is all I need. **

**I truly believe there are amazing guys out there, who will be your Chad. And if you haven't found him yet, I have faith that someday you will. **

**Thanks for reading…Hope you enjoy. **

My insides scorched and twisted; burning with such excruciating pain, I lurched in and out of consciousness. Beads of salty sweat oozed from my pores, and crawled across my skin, reeking as it mixed with blood and muddy fabric. My head throbbed, but my arm lay motionless at my side like a dead weight, refusing to lift and rub my temples.

A bright light; a blindingly bright light, shone outside of my eyelids. I couldn't open them to see what the source was. Even my eyes prickled in pain—as if someone had tried rising them with acid.

"Sonny…" a soothing voice tried to comfort me. Cold hands enveloped my forehead, numbing the searing burns. But I craved the cool touch on every part of my body. Because on every part of it baked in invisible fire.

"Sonny…" the voice of an angel tried again, seeming as though it had a cooling effect—maybe even more so—than the hands that held my head.

I knew the angel's name.

"Chad…" I sighed. The attempt of speaking—even breathing—had pried so much effort from my lungs. A solitary tear escaped my possession, and now freely rolled to my ear. Maybe it wasn't just the pain that'd caused the tear. Maybe it wasn't even his beautiful name, which strummed at my heartstrings when I said it.

I knew what it was, but it was too complicated, yet so simple, to put into words. The phrase died on my lips" and I could feel my heart swelling, in fear and at the same time, trill, at what I'd almost confessed. Something I'd long denied for so many months.

Eyes still closed, I whispered to him. Slowly, because it hurt my chest. "Chad, I—"

"Shh…" he placed a finger softly to my lips. I shivered at the cool of his skin, relishing the scent of his clothes when he was close to me. "Stay still. The pain will only be worse if you move."

A pit-deep disappointment clutched at my gut, as he moved his finger away. At least this gave me a chance to ask him questions though. "What happened to me?"

"Hush."

"Answer me. Please?"

Chad's sigh meant he was giving in. "You were attached by a dude with a knife."

An alarming flashback played itself in my thoughts, reflecting behind the dark of my eyelids like a movie screen.

"Why did I walk through that alley?" I asked.

"When I asked you, you told me you were taking a short cut."

"Man," I sighed. "I'm sorry, Chad. I was pretty stupid."

I felt his hands on my stomach, then heard a ripping sound. "You mean you _are_ pretty stupid," he corrected.

I opened my eyes, squinted painfully in the light, and realized he'd torn my shirt in half, part-way up my torso. A blush creeped up my neck, and into my cheeks, making me thankful for the darkness surrounding us. I couldn't meet his gaze, knowing he was probably tending to the cut right below my bra at this very minute.

"Chad," I whispered. "Please don't I can do it myse—" I grunted at a driving sting ascending my ribs, in attempt to grab his hand away.

"Sonny," he said, squeezing my hand gently. "Don't move."

I squeezed his hand back, smiled, then let go, letting my arm fall limply to my side once again.

A cool ointment was spread across the cut, and I tried not to think about where his hand was right now.

_Relax…_I told myself, but it was an impossibility. My entire body ablaze, his hand just below my bra line, and my lips opening and closing as I struggled with the same words.

Suddenly, Chad stopped rubbing on the ointment. For a heartbeat, just a heartbeat, all was utterly still. Even the wind seemed to hold its breath. Chad's blue eyes locked on mine, and his eyebrows rose, as if asking permission before he leaned over.

"Chad…" I said.

"I thought I all ready told you to shut-up," he chuckled softly.

Before I could protest, he forced my lips to surrender to something besides talking.

The kiss stirred something inside me. Something deep, and unreal, and forgotten. A thing so deep, it had a feeling all to itself. But I only was able to hold it for a moment. Now, it was slipping through my fingers like beach sand, as he pulled away, and tears began to wash away everything.

"Sonny," Chad's voice sounding like Tawni's.

"Sonny!"

I opened my eyes to see Tawni standing over me. Blinking lights came from a vehicle parked near the curb, and I was being rolled away on a stretcher.

"What happed?" I groaned, twitching in pain that was even worse than before. "Where's Chad?"

Tawni didn't answer, but I knew by the look in her eyes what she would have said.

Tearless sobs broke from me, because everything I ever cared about had left me. My angel was gone, and only a halo of light had remained.

The halo being the memories that would forever haunt me, and the words I failed to tell him, would undoubtedly remain unsaid.

As I was loaded into the back of the ambulance, I realized I felt trapped down here on earth. Where I really wanted to be, I was never entirely sure existed, until tonight. I knew God would let Chad live in a better place. The place I let my eyes settled on, as I looked up.

I didn't pray for God to take me. I didn't beg for forgiveness, for what I'd done that'd caused Chad's death. The only words I prayed, were the ones I'd forever wanted to say.

"I love you, Chad," I whispered. And somehow, someway, I prayed for those words to reach him.


End file.
